CHANDRA PASSERO

WE EXIST BEYOND OUR STORIES. If nothing else were said about my work and my most central ideas about the human experience, these five words would capture the essence of what underlies all that I do. They are emblematic of how I live when I am most aligned and I would be remiss in my presentation of myself here if I did not name this truth: there is a place within all of us that is untouched by the storylines of our lives. It's quiet there. It offers the deepest comfort imaginable. It is expansive. And when immersed in it, I'm brought into a state of reverence and peace. It is home. My home is within me, beyond my stories. And your home is within you, beyond yours; a personal sanctuary for each of us. The road to this inner sanctuary, however, is frought with the debris created by the personality and moving it out of the way is the work of psychotherapeutic healing as I see it. Because the story-making can limit our access to this more expansive place inside, it is helpful to dismantle the stories and their hold on us so that we can make our way to this place. It becomes a resource; THE resource in our living and lends a new place of identity to our experience.                                           

The root of our suffering can be found in the mistaken notion that our  personality, with all it's needs, beliefs and meaning-making, is the true identifier of who we are. This isn't a new idea about the nature of human suffering. To the personality, the story runs the show; it IS the show. Our story, or narrative, develops out of our early experiences with attachment, trust, safety and acceptance and is often littered with distorted ideas and beliefs that we then inevitably and unwittingly draw on in our relationships and in the behavioral choices we make. We use these stories as the lens through which our present experiences are viewed. They will dictate who we are in relationship with ourselves first, and so, with others  thereafter.  And if we  identify too strongly  with the story,  we will block  access to  this  more peaceful  state    inside. So, in my work, there is a deep respect and honoring of our stories, our subjective cultures (familial and otherwise) because they are meaningful  and  they  matter.   We  are  shaped  by  them.  It is  also  imperative, from  my  view, that  we understand that they are only part of the human experience and they don't define the ultimate truth of who we are. The process of unraveling all of this is most compelling to me both personally and in my work. And it is to this effort, the liberation of myself and of others from the limitations of the mind and personality, that I devote my life and around which I set my highest intentions.